By AMY BENTLEY
WHEN IS IT SAFE to take a newborn out in public? Is it normal for a baby to cry so much? When can you give a child fruit juice? When can a child return to school after having a cold? Questions, questions, questions. Where does a parent or grandparent turn for sound advice?
Pediatrician Tanya Remer Altmann’s latest book, "Mommy Calls: Dr. Tanya Answers Parents’ Top 101 Questions About Babies and Toddlers" (American Academy of Pediatrics), covers everything from injuries to illnesses to bedtime troubles.
The 36-year-old author, who goes by Dr. Tanya, grew up in Claremont and earned her bachelor’s degree from Claremont McKenna College, where she majored in chemistry and biology. She obtained her medical training at UCLA and has a private practice in Westlake Village, north of Los Angeles. An active alumnus at Claremont High School, she also serves as a spokeswoman for the American Academy of Pediatrics.
"I get called by parents every day — at night, weekends and on holidays. I found that most of the questions parents were asking were all similar," said the mother of two boys, ages 1 and 3.
We sat down with Dr. Tanya for a brief Q&A:
Inland Living Magazine: You do a number of parenting workshops, including "Surviving the Tween and Teen Years," "Consistent Discipline" and "Raising Respectful Children." Please give us some advice on each of those three important topics.
Dr. Tanya: A lot of what you teach kids starts when they are a younger. Hopefully parents and grandparents have been role modeling proper behavior. What helps keep teens and tweens on the right page is to teach them what is right and wrong and that they can come to you with questions. It’s also really important to monitor all the media they are exposed to, including the Internet, as well as who they are calling and texting. Keep tabs on what they are reading and watching, and talk to them about it.
As for discipline, during the toddler and preschool years, that’s when children are trying to explore their independence.
They say "no" often. Try to be consistent. Having consistent routines and making sure that all caregivers are following those routines can make a difference. Intervene immediately to correct inappropriate behaviors.
It’s usually best to work on one behavior at a time. Offer your child plenty of praise and rewards for good behavior.
To have respectful children, it’s important that parents show respect to each other and everyone around them. Watch everything you say and do, and model behavior you want your children to copy.
ILM: No parent likes to be told what to do or how to raise his or her child.
When is it appropriate for people to offer child-rearing advice to parents?
Dr. Tanya: If parents are looking to other family members to help care for the children, which can be a great experience, you have to be open to listening to their opinions. Try to discuss it together so you can stay on the same page. All caregivers should remain consistent with care and discipline.
ILM: What babysitting tips can you offer grandparents who are no longer accustomed to being around crying babies or rambunctious toddlers?
Dr. Tanya: You want to talk to the grandparent ahead of time and find out what they are comfortable with. If they are not used to feeding babies and changing diapers, have them come over ahead of time and teach them again.
Writing lists also helps them remember things like feeding times and nap times.
If they don’t feel comfortable being left alone with your children, you may have to find someone else to watch them. It really depends on the grandparent and the toddler. You do have to remind grandparents of some of the safety issues, like the fact that we have infants sleep on their backs now.
ILM: Is it OK to invite friends or relatives with babies or toddlers over for dinner, but request that they hire a sitter and leave the little ones at home? How do you handle this?
Dr. Tanya: There are times for family dinners when the children are welcome and times for adult dinners. If you are planning an adult evening at your house, let guests know ahead of time so they can plan appropriately.
ILM: How can people who don’t have babies or toddlers keep little visitors safe in a home that isn’t child-proofed?
Dr. Tanya: It is the parent’s responsibility to keep a close eye on their children when you go to someone else’s house.
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